Five steps to avoid a positive roadside drug test

Pot smokers, this article is for you. Follow these five steps and you will never have to worry about a positive roadside drug test! You may be aware of 1 or 2 of these steps, but you need all five for complete safety.

STEP ONE: Follow the road rules

Someone wise once said "one crime at a time". If you are driving on drugs let that be the only crime that you are committing. Obey the road rules, don't touch your phone, don't speed, don't take any risks, whatsoever. You don't want to give the Police any reason to want to pull you over.

STEP TWO: Make sure your car is registered and in good working order

The Police have scanners in their vehicles that alert them to unregistered vehicles on the road. If you aren't registered, you will be pulled over. Same goes for having one of your headlights out of commission. If there is the slightest issue with your car, the risk is too great. Don't drive.

STEP THREE: Download WAZE

Waze is an alternative to Google or Apple maps, popular among thousands of users. If you haven't started using it, it might be worth considering. There's a large community of Australians who use the app, which includes a "report" feature. One of the reportable items is Police presence. You can rely on the Waze community to update the map with police locations, helping you to be aware of any hidden police cars or random breath testing stations along your route.

STEP FOUR: Carry Biotene in your vehicle

If by chance you do hit a drug bus and can't avoid going through it, Biotene is your best friend. It's a gel like substance that taste ok. Regularly used for "dry mouth" it lubricates your mouth like saliva would. If you coat your tongue and inside your cheeks with Biotene the drug test doesn't get your saliva, just the Biotene. Biotene meets the Police criteria for the drug test and will ensure the coppers come back to you with a negative result.

STEP FIVE: Get a Christian Fish sticker for your back window

Celebrate your religion with a Christian fish sticker on your back window. Police can conduct random drug tests, the thing about them is that they must be random. If they pull you over and there is something on your back window that identifies you in some way, it removes the randomness from the situation, and you are safe. You may still get pulled over, just refuse to do the test and have a go at the cop for pulling you over to persecute you because you are a religious. Then, present this argument to the court when the day comes. It's been tried and tested. It's just something they don't tell you in the license test book.

So that's it. Follow these five steps to avoid a positive roadside drug test. Best not to drive on drugs in the first place, but the reality is, pot hangs around for days and days even though you are completely sober. Until they make their tests fairer, then we need smart work arounds. Happy driving. Stay safe.

Glenn Hall is a former advertising executive turned freelance communications consultant. Glenn has a fresh perspective on topical issues and a unique way of viewing the world.   With diverse interests, no topic is out of reach and Glenn will be sure to challenge your thinking.